My Island Life: Work

Professor Alexis Walker

My adventures living on a Caribbean island. Welcome to my monthly, or not so monthly adventures. We try not to commit too soon here on island.

Impression #11

Work. I know, what am I thinking to be writing about work, but it is a necessary part of island life. Luckily for me, my work is very fulfilling in so many ways. 

First and foremost are my students. The University of the Virgin Islands, St. Croix, has the best students! They are generally happy people, though cynical, and are motivated to have good careers. They have a great sense of humor and they are pleased to teach me about island life and the things I should know. Actually, they even teach me about things I shouldn’t know ;-)

Secondly, my fellow Professors are so cool. I guess it takes a certain type of spirit to move down to an island and teach college. Many of my colleagues embrace the island life and are committed to giving the students here the best possible education, holding them to mainland standards. But these folks aren’t nerds by any stretch of the imagination! Every Friday is Friday Cheer. Not every professor and staff in our group goes every week, but there is usually between 8 and 12 who do. Each Friday a different food and drink establishment is picked and those who decide to go that week arrive sometime between 5:30-6:30pm and stay as long as we like. From bars on the boardwalk to Jazz in the park, this casual weekly event during the school year is a great time.

Thirdly, my work environment is the bomb. No, seriously. The views from the school, the unique leveled building I teach in, and the staff, make it easy to want to go to work. Everyone is always greeting me with a smile and a “Good Afternoon.” Many often compliment me on my dress, as brightly colored cowboy hats and boots are not the norm here. Imagine that.

Lastly, I must talk about my wonderful schedule. I leave my house at noon, have a couple of office hours and then teach from 2:30pm to 5:15pm. I’m home in time for dinner at 6:00pm. Oh yes, and that’s only Monday through Thursday. Sure, that doesn’t count the hours of prep work and grading, but for a full time job that I don’t have to fight traffic to get to, I can’t complain at all!

So yes, I do have to work in order to live here, but it is a lovely job :-)

Lesson #11: I can’t appreciate enough the job I have on island. Who knows when I will ever be so lucky again!

Stay Warm,

Alexis

Pickup Lines–Do They Work?

Hi guys!  Good to see you again.  Well, here it is blog day and once again Kayce spent her Thursday night trolling the internet for a blog topic.  And while trolling on the internet, I came across some pickup lines, so I thought you might enjoy some of the absolute jewels I managed to find.  There are sweet ones, weird ones, cute ones, creepy ones, lines that you hope will never work, and lines that just might.  So pick out your fav’s and least fav’s and let me know what you think. 

This first one seemed strange until I thought it through.

• I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

I’m thinking that’s not the real reason.  My mother warned me about wearing patent leather shoes!

The next two are for those who are hungry…

• Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
• Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day…all I'm asking for is one from you.  (Awhhh)

Not exactly the smoothest or the most creative, but there is a promise of food…and kisses.  Don’t forget the kisses.  :-)

Here’s another one I hadn’t heard before…

• You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

Okay, I’ll have to think about that one.  I was going to dis it, but when I read it out loud, I found it actually had merit.  Can I get back to you on that?

Men, please don’t try this out in public.  You might get away with it at home, though.

• I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.

Sure you are…and if you aren’t careful, the tip of my…uh…left heart is going to put your eye out!

These next lines are quite possibly the worst ever!  There is no way in hell that body parts or bodily functions belong in a pickup line.  These rank right up there with proposing to a woman by peeing your proposal in the snow.

• If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
• My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
• Did you fart, ‘cause you blew me away.
• Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Farts and diarrhea come eventually in every love affair, but please don’t use these to kick-start a new relationship.  I think it’s an automatic defense for murder.

These next three would require a certain kind of girl…probably the kind you couldn’t take home to mom.  J

• Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
• If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
• Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

Oh wait…no, I think that last one got lumped into the wrong grouping…that one’s kinda creepy.  Kick that one to the curb.  No pickup line should ever include the word chloroform…it’s just plain wrong.

This next set of pickup lines might actually work.  They range from clever to sweet.  I’d fall for any one of these as long as the guy wasn’t a troll.

• If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
• I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.  (If you’re like me, you’ll have to think this one through.)
• You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
• I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
• When God made you, he was showing off.
• Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
• You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.     (Winner!)
• There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

And these three are definite winners!

• I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
• If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath!

What woman doesn’t long to be the happiest woman on earth?  What woman doesn’t hope that one day all her dreams will come true?  And what woman doesn’t want a man who will love her until his last breath?  After all, that’s why we write books.  Men – take notes!

• Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

Okay, so that one reminds me of a Butterscotch Martini Girls night on the town.  You’ve never lived until you’ve gone to a cowboy bar to ogle cowboy butts and eat s’mores, followed by a field trip to the adult toy store with that crew!  LOL

These next two are actually some of my favorites, but it takes the right kind of guy to deliver these lines.  He has to be tall and handsome and suave…or she might actually end up with his money!

• Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?  (I actually think this one is fabulous!  LOL)
• I'm not actually this tall.  I'm sitting on my wallet. 

See what I mean about how those have to come from the right guy?  Anything less than perfection and the tide turns to pathetic and he’s toast…and she’s got the money.

And here are the slightly desperate, but just enough that they might work…

• Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
• Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
• Be unique and different, say yes.      (This one turns fabulous if he’s fabulous.)
• Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!      (And then run like the wind!)

Okay, girls, I’ gonna warn you here…DO NOT fall for any of these…please…

• Is your last name Gillette?  Because you are the best a man can get.
• Is your name "Swiffer"?  'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
• Do you work at Dick's?  ‘Cause you're sporting the goods.
• I'm Mr. Right.  Someone said you were looking for me?
• Is your last name Campbell? Cause you're "mmmm... good!"

You fall for any one of those lines, you marry the guy…and that’s the one that’s gonna buy you vacuum cleaners, toasters, mops and cleaning supplies for Christmas.  Maybe even a set of left-handed golf clubs…and you’re not even left-handed…he is.  RUN!

This next one will work only because it will take you by surprise and make you laugh out loud.

• I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but...I'm Batman!

And for the rednecks out there…

• Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.

Sigh!  Okay, I love “redneck”, but that one is a little too redneck—even for me.  Best let this one stay in the closet.  The girl that falls for this one is probably riding an elevator that doesn’t go all the way to the top.

Okay, this one is just ugly and can be taken so many different ways…guys, DON’T DO IT!

• Are you a beaver?  ‘Cause daaaaam!

I told you so…that one ain’t gonna end well.

Now, I think it’s time for my absolute favorite.  This one is extremely flattering and has just the right twist of humor without the cheesy crap…

• My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar.  Wanna buy some drinks with their money?

And you’re in for a free drink…how can either of you lose with that one?!

Okay, what’s your worst or best pickup line?  We’d all love to hear it!  And what we really want to know is…did it work?

That’s my story, sad and sassy, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hold on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

The Last Detail by Lisa J. Lickel

Lickel takes you deep into the secrets and insecurities of lives devoted to their faith and the realization that when listening to God, their issues can be turned into understanding and love. 

Amalia Kennedy has a full plate piled with a man who insists they were meant to be married, not according to herself, the desire for her own children, death of a close friend, and the appearance of the man, Merit Campbell, who makes her heart flip for real.

Merit Campbell, a medical missionary has devoted his life to his faith.  He begins to doubt his reason for his devotion; could it be to hide from a close relationship to his new acquaintance, Amalia, for fear of losing her?

Incredible romantic tension and confusion with their deep faith, Amalia and Merit struggle to allow themselves to love.  It seems to be the one thing they cannot have complete control of, yet sometimes a heart doesn’t lie.

Award-winning Lisa J Lickel is a powerful storyteller and brings her characters to life with all too real problems.

Happy reading,
Dawn

Guest Author Linda Andrews with Giveaway: Everything Old is New Again

Long, long ago when I first decided to try my hand at writing. My motive for doing so was because it would justify buying all those history books. Aside from being a bit of a history lover, I am also a bit of a book slut—I'll read just about anything. So now when my husband asked why I was buying so many books, I'd happily reply “research.” Yeah, right. (Given the lack of a suitable sarcastic font, take that double positive as a negative).

In all fairness, I did write books using the materials I'd bought and they were published, so I didn't really lie.

But I knew what I was doing when I did it.

And I still do it.

As an author, I'm often asked where I get my story ideas. Truthfully, the story fairy has something to do with it. But it usually starts with a question. In this case, it came down to what I'd been taught in school versus what a critique partner learned in his class. It was classic revisionism at work. In the case of the United States (where I went to school), liberties are taken with the truth to help our country of many nationalities heal after such things as war.

And the Great War wasn't great in a good way.

To make matters worse, most folks think World War Two is the only one that matters, the only one that produced heroism in the face of unimaginable danger.

The more I read about World War One, the more I wanted to do something to lengthen the short stick it's received. Since my time machine is currently broken, the only way to fix the wrongs and to highlight the best of humanity was to bring the time period alive through the romance genre. And I started where the war officially began with Belgium in 1914, when a little nation tried to withstand the might of the German war machine. While World War Ones most notable legacy is, sadly, World War Two, the Great War impacted the United States and the world in other ways.

A hundred years later, here are just a few:

The Belgian people led the way in passive resistance. From wearing the banned colors of their national flag via ribbons and flowers, all the way to civil disobedience such as not observing German time (a forerunner of Daylight Savings time, also a result of WW1) these folks laid the foundation upon which Gandhi and Martin Luther King would bring about major social revolutions.

While the United States initially leaned toward the Central Powers (Germany and her allies), the Germans policy of sinking nonmilitary vessels soon swung the pendulum toward the Allies. This gave rise to two things—one being the notion of civilians as noncombatants and therefore somehow immune to the brutality of war. And second, in the United States, the anti-German sentiment gave the temperance movement ammunition as most of the brewmasters were German and hence we enacted that disaster known as Prohibition.

In the US, protests arose over the mandatory draft and registration of males of fighting age. Furthermore, the treason and sedition acts made it a crime to criticize the military or government, laying a scary foundation for the Patriot Act.

Internment camps were set up in the US, Canada and the Allied countries to deal with those with ties to the Central Powers.

Women gained the right to vote for their part in the War effort. Oddly enough, the only women legislator at the time was the only person in history to vote against the US entering both World Wars One and Two.

I would like to say that Shell Shock (now known as PTSD) received attention, but alas that wasn't the case. Many with Battle fatigue were executed for cowardice. However, there were considerable advancements in the field of medicine.

But it was the last statistic that compelled me to write romances set during the era: Because of the high casualty rate, nearly thirty percent of all women from that generation would remain unmarried because of the lack of men. After reading that, I was determined to give some of their stories a happy ending.

What about you? Have you ever read or watched something that you wished you could change to a Happily Ever After ending?

Linda Andrews

http://www.lindaandrews.net/index.html  

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