Make Me Laugh

        If you’ve read my blog before, then you know that in addition to loving all things book related, I’m a big movie fan. I love a good tear-jerker that’ll make me cry no matter how many times I’ve seen it (Steel Magnolias comes to mind….the funeral scene has me reaching for the tissues EVERY SINGLE TIME no matter how many times I tell myself I will not cry!).

I love a good action adventure as well (I have developed a fondness for Jason Statham and any movie he’s in as well as Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and just too many others to name). I like horror movies too, the ones that have me glued to the screen and jumping out of me seat (or afraid to close my eyes when the movie is over).

But my favorite kind of movies are comedies and not just any comedies but slapstick (yes, you read that right….I love a good pie in the face…you know, that visual humor) and the wonderful screwball comedies of the 30’s and 40’s. Bringing Up Baby with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant is still my all time favorite although Arsenic and Old Lace (again with Cary Grant) is a close second as is Some Like It Hot.

         Which brings me to Mel Brooks. While Mr. Brooks is not as handsome as Cary Grant, he could still make me laugh and that’s a good thing. I’ve seen Young Frankstein so many times, I know the dialogue by heart, but I still crack up whenever anyone in the movie says Frau Blucher and the horses whinny. Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs and Robin Hood: Men in Tights (love the musical number in this movie…you know which one I mean, but it you don't, here's a picture to remind you) round out my favorite Brooks comedies.

         My affection for screwball comedies does not confine itself to movies though. It’s television, too, and the original queen of the genre, Lucille Ball. I love Lucy. Still do. Who could do the grape stomping scene any better than her? Or try to keep up with a machine that spews chocolate bonbons in ever increasing speeds?

There are others who have followed in Lucy’s footsteps. Many years ago, there was “From the Files of Police Squad” starring the lovable, but bumbling Leslie Neilsen as Frank Drebbin, which I loved and when the series ended, he reprised that role on the big screen in the Naked Gun movies, for which I will be eternally grateful.

The newest kid on the block? Angie Tribeca. Oh, I am horribly addicted. It’s absurd and quirky and has enough visual humor to keep me hooked.

         In fact, I think I’ll go watch a couple episodes right now (thank you OnDemand!)

As always, happy reading (and watching)

Marie  

Stupid Rides Again!

Hey guys, good to see you here one more time.  I missed ya!

Okay, my last blog was on stupidity, and when I get on a rant, I don’t give up easily.  LOL  So when stumped for a topic to blog about this week, I went out and researched quotes on stupidity.  I’m sad to report that it must be very alive and well because there were lots and lots of quotes—some serious, some boring, some funny.  So I’m gonna try to skip the boring ones, go light on the serious ones, and have fun with the funny ones…cuz who don’t love a stupid story?

The first one I ran across was a serious one, but it is sooooooooooo true!

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

~Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein was a smart man who, sadly, apparently encountered plenty of stupidity.  Guess that’s something we have in common.  LOL

Another very interesting quote I found is one that I’m sure originated in redneck territory…

It is a wise man who knows where courage ends and stupidity begins.

~Jerome Cady

I’m pretty sure this behavior was immediate preceded by the statement, “Here, hold my beer and watch this.”  We all know how that one ended…something blew up and someone wound up with either a concussion, a nail in his head, or smashed nuts.  Don’t kid yourself…stupidity is not a victimless crime!

In keeping with the insanity of this year’s election, I even found a quote on stupidity in politics.  I know…say it ain’t so! 

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

~Napoleon Bonaparte

Yep, there’s even stupidity among those we elect to office...and it’s not a new thing ‘cuz this guy died in 1821.  By my calculation, that would make stupidity almost 200 years old.  Hmmm…I wonder exactly how old it is.  In any case, it sounds like this year’s election doesn’t have the market cornered on stupid.

Okay, I was starting to feel a little bad about making light of stupidity…after all, some people can’t help it.  But then I found his quote…

Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it.

~Pope John Paul II

Seriously?  Even the Pope got in on it?  I think this one goes back to another quote I heard years ago that went something like this…”God must have loved stupid people because he sure made a lot of them.” 

No ugly letters or emails, please.  Just funnin’.  Besides, I didn’t make these up…so don’t shoot the messenger.

Okay, so here’s another one that I’m pretty sure generally involves large quantities of alcohol.

We never really know what stupidity is until we have experimented on ourselves.

~Paul Gauguin

Has anyone read any of the stories about men who try things out on themselves?  If not, there’s a link at the bottom of this blog to another site with a fabulous story about a man who tried out a Tazer on himself.  You’ll have to check it out!  It will make you cry, it’s so funny.  Not sure if this particular story is true or not, but you know someone somewhere did this. You know they did!

Okay, those are some of the more serious quotes.  Now here are some fun ones I found.

Scientists say the world is made up of Protons, Neurons, and Electrons. 

Hell, they forgot to mention Morons.

~Aunty Acid

Don’t you love Aunty Acid?  I do!  She’s so sarcastic…and here’s another one of my sarcastic heroes.

Do I call a doctor if my date’s stupidity lasts for more than 4 hours?

~ Maxine

Hell, I’ve been on that date!  Really.  If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.  Those of you who know me know it’s the truth.  Four hours of stupid ain’t nuthin’ for some of the guys I’ve been out with.

Okay, ever seen some idiot screech into the handicapped parking spot, jump out of his car, and jog into the convenience store, with not a single handicapped parking permit anywhere in sight on his vehicle?  Betcha wish you’d left this note on his car.

Stupidity is NOT a handicap!  Park elsewhere!

~found on ifunny.com

Although I might argue that stupidity IS a handicap…just not one they issue parking stickers for.

Okay, here are some more funny quotes that speak for themselves…

I’m pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you, there wouldn’t be anything left.

~found on quotesgram.com

Without stupid people, we would have no one to laugh at.

~found on pinterest.com

I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

~your ecards

Stupidity should be painful.

~unknown

I really like that last one.  Just picture it…sorta like the Tazer thing…be stupid, get zapped.  Not sure it’d stop some of them, but it might make it more fun to watch.  LOL

The best advice I found on how to deal with stupid people is this one…

Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

~Mark Twain

Easy peasy…don’t argue.  Walk away.  Ignore them.  I know…I can’t either.  But it’s good advice if you have the willpower.

Okay, for those times when you simply cannot walk away…someone is too stupid to live...there is a legitimate response.

I’m allergic to stupidity.  I break out in sarcasm.

~unknown

It shoulda been me that said that one because I’m definitely allergic, and sarcasm is my go-to response.  Sometimes it pops right outta my mouth and sometimes (when I’m in better form), it results in the eye roll.  When it’s totally stupid and or hurtful or interfering with my life, I break out the stink-eye.

Now, I’d like to tell you there is a cure for it, but there’s not.  In fact, I found this quote, which means it’s even worse than I’d thought…

…there's no rehab for stupidity.

~Chris Rock

Now, that’s just sad.  No cure AND no rehab? 

So there it is.  In a nutshell, we’ve learned that stupidity has no limits, it can be found beyond where courage ends, it’s not a victimless crime or a handicap in politics, it’s a misused gift from God, it requires experimentation by Morons, a doctor should be called if it lasts more than 4 hours, it should be painful, it’s not curable and there’s no rehab.

Is there at least some sort of treatment for the symptoms that isn’t found in the Smith & Wesson catalog?  Nope.  Not really.  But one smart gal has a recommendation that I plan to adopt right away.

I really need to stop saying, “How stupid can you be?”  Some people are starting to take it as a personal challenge.

~your ecards

And don’t go thinking that “hair of the dog” is gonna help either.  I think this guy mighta tried that once, otherwise how would he know this?

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

~Will Rogers

He tried it...you know he did.  I wonder if there's video somewhere.  Probably not...no cell phones back then.

So…always be aware of your surroundings, be alert, and don’t dawdle when you run errands.  They just might be waiting in the parking lot, at the convenience store, at the bank, in the coffee shop, or even in your own household.  And remember…the only treatments are avoidance, sarcasm, and the stink-eye.  Don’t be afraid to use them!

That’s my story, stinky and stupid, and I’m stickin’ to it.  So hang on tight now, ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

I promised ya’all a story about a Tazer…here’s the link.  But don’t forget to leave me a comment before you go!

http://www.dailycognition.com/index.php/2009/02/21/story-of-husband-who-self-taser-ed-himself.html

Craving Toxic by Ann Marie Graf

 

The first of a trilogy, this novella follows the pattern of Fifty Shades. 

Maggie White is a waitress in a London country club where she is targeted by the filthy-rich new owner.  All the waitresses, and any woman who spots him, wants to be on his radar. 

The funny thing is that Maggie does her best to avoid him.  She’s studying to be a fashion designer, and doesn’t have time for a dead-end relationship.  That’s how she’s sees it.

Mr. Casanova has other ideas and slowly gives her nudges to take a date. 

As I read the story, I felt like I repeated my dive into Fifty Shades of Gray.  I also was intrigued because the setting was London, but I didn’t find much in the story representative of the English.  Regardless, I couldn’t help but be curious as to the similarities and differences of the stories, so…I kept reading.

Graf also has many QR codes throughout the story.  Sorry, but I won't take my attention off the story to look at them.  I like to read without being bothered by technicalities.  If you're interested in the pictures, this story has them!

I’m sure you’ve all developed an opinion already, with my description, so I’ll point out the main difference was the heat level.  The story isn’t erotic, but is sexy, so take it from there, and I’d like to hear if anyone has read it or plans to!

 

Happy reading,

Dawn

Book Cover Dilemma

Happy Father’s Day!

I hope everyone is having a great day so far. I apologize that my post is a little later than normal. My internet has been down since Monday. An entire week without the world wide web showed me just how much I relied on it. For instance, I would probably have looked up if world wide web should be capitalized. Now, I rely on my instincts, which are normally wrong. Even my Wi-Fi printers are on strike until the fix-it guy comes, which should be today. I do feel bad that they have to work on Father’s Day, but it was the first available opening so I snatched it up.

Anyway, this post is about book covers today. I realized (and probably have for a while) that my covers for the Nadia Wolf series are a bit darker than the actual content. While there are aspects of suspense and thriller in this Vegas romance, it is also light hearted and silly at times. So, I’ve come up with a new cover and I wanted your opinion. Below is an image of my current cover, and then the one I’m creating. Does the new cover make you stop and look? Does it give the impression that it’s a light romance with perhaps some mystery? Do you like the current one better and I'm just spinning my wheels for nothing? Let me know your thoughts!

Current Cover

New Cover

Have a wonderful day!!!

Cover Reveal of EDEN DISCOVERED by Lexi Post

Eden Discovered

Book #3 of The Eden Series

by Lexi Post

This is the story of Jaelene, Theron, Konala and Rekah and it's coming out in July!

It takes place on the planet Eden. A planet of naked men with special abilities and a few women from Earth. Jaelene is now one of those women.

Theron: Kindred of Air creates reflections
Konala: Kindred of Eden can communicate with animals
Rekah: Kindred of Heart can read people's emotions

For a full blurb visit Eden Discovered 

For release dates, sneak peeks, giveaways and more, join my newsletter list.

Can't wait for everyone to meet these characters and the many new animals introduced in this book. Lots going on, on the planet Eden ;-)

Always, Lexi
www.lexipostbooks.com
lexi@lexipostbooks.com

Words and Music

So the other night, I was looking for something different to watch on television (at 8:30 – 9:00, I generally shut down my computer, take a shower and watch television to relax before I try to go to sleep--4:30am rolls around pretty fast), but I digress….

Anyway, I was flipping channels when I popped onto our local PBS station. It’s pledge week, which means they will air things that draw you in, like music (I love my local PBS station for all the music programs they show). Last Tuesday night was Burt Bacharach. They had clips of live television performances by Dionne Warwick singing some of those hits written by Mr. Bacharach: Do You Know the Way to San Jose? And I’ll Say A Little Prayer For You (didn’t you love it when Rupert Everett sang this to Julia Roberts in My Best Friend’s Wedding? Sorry, I got side-tracked again). He wrote many more songs, including This Guy’s In Love With You (one of my personal favorites) and Close to You, sung wonderfully by The Carpenters.

Speaking of The Carpenters, PBS had a wonderful retrospective of them and their music. We lost a lovely person much, much too young when we lost Karen. She had an amazing voice.

I watched Josh Grobin, too (I love him! Especially when he sings in Italian or Spanish!). He did a duet with Kelly Clarkson and they sang All I Ask Of You from Phantom of the Opera. Wow! Just Wow! Knocked my socks off and yes, I got a little verklempt as this is one of my favorite songs from Phantom.

What amazed me the most about all this music? I knew all the words to all the songs (some were songs from the 60s and 70s). I admit I sang along (the dog didn’t like that very much—I think I hurt her ears with my voice). Anyway, why do I find it amazing that I knew the words? Because there are days when I go from one room in my house to the other and have no idea why once I get there. Apparently, my long term memory is pretty good; my short term memory leaves something to be desired.

As always, happy reading (and listening!)

Marie

Water Dreams by Katherine Smits and Two $5 Gift Card Giveaways!

LUCK

We all know what luck is, right? It’s the random events that either help or hinder us in our pursuit of our dreams. Some of us feel that we have good luck and some of us believe our luck (ok I just can’t resist) sucks. I have heard people say, “If it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” Other people tell me, “I can’t lose. I’m hot, hot, hot.” But for most of us, luck seems variable. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad.

Sometimes it’s hard to know if luck is good or bad. It all depends. I heard a great story once about a farmer who told his neighbor that his son had been injured. “Oh no” the neighbor replied, “That’s terrible luck. He won’t be able to help with the harvest.”

The farmer answered, “Maybe bad, maybe good. When the army came to conscript young men, they didn’t take him because he couldn’t walk.”

“Oh, so it was good luck after all.”

“Maybe so, maybe not. Because he couldn’t walk…”

I don’t remember the rest of the story, but the point was that for everything that seemed good or bad, there was another way of looking at the situation that changed the meaning of it.

When something happens to us, we often don’t know if it’s good or bad. I published my debut novel, Water Dreams August 2015 with a small publisher who had been around several years and who I thought would be a great fit for me. Ten days after the release date, the publisher declared bankruptcy, closed their doors and my book disappeared from the world. I didn’t even have a chance to buy a print copy for myself because the print release was scheduled for about six months later.

It was bad luck. A completely unforeseen circumstance that impacted me in a negative way.

But here’s the thing. 

On June 6, 2016, my book was released again, by another publisher. I spent some time submitting it to publishers and fixing some problems they pointed out to me. When I found Foundations, LLC, I knew this was the publisher for me. They are new and provide tremendous marketing support to their authors, something most traditional publishers do not do. I was able to keep the original cover, which I loved, because my cover artist is working with the new publisher. Less than a year later, my book is back in the world and I have a print copy with more to come. 

There’s one last thing I would like to say about luck. Finding a four leaf clover is traditionally considered a sign that you will have good luck. Since four leaf clovers are rare, when you find one, it means your luck is good. However, four leaf clovers are actually not that rare or hard to find. Everyone thinks they are, because that’s what they have heard and so no one looks for them. Because no one looks for them, no one finds them and that makes everyone believe all the more that they are rare. They are actually pretty easy to find. Try it. Most of the time, if you look, you can find one in a matter of a few minutes of concentrated searching. The same is true with our cherished dreams. We think we will need extraordinary luck to find what we wish for and that it is rare and hard to find. We think events work against us and hold us back. The truth is that whatever happens is neither lucky or unlucky. It all depends. It depends on how we look at it and how we react to it. When we hit what we think is a rough patch, we can give up and quit, or we can shrug, think “maybe not” and try again.

I hope you all find your clovers and never give up on your dreams. A lot of luck is what you make it.

For a chance to win one of two $5 Amazon Gift Card, leave a comment below. Winner will be chosen next Sunday. Speaking of luck...Good luck!

Excerpt from Water Dreams (Love's Siren Song #1)

     Eventually, Bas woke up. One minute he lay loosely in Nik’s arms, half-floating, half propped up. The next moment he was awake with his face a fraction of an inch from hers, looking intently into her eyes. Nik knew what was about to happen. She could have stopped it, but she didn’t. Bas leaned forward and gently kissed Nik on her lips, which had dried and cracked from the long immersion in salt water. His were soft, full, and tasted like oranges. She could have sucked on those lips all day. She thrilled with an immediate, exponential, and overwhelming reaction. Nik jerked away from Bas. Holding her hand to her mouth, she stared at him.
     “What the hell was that?” Nik knew it was a kiss, but she didn’t want to believe it had happened. She had never had that kind of reaction to a kiss before. She never wanted to experience it again. It made her feel wildly out of control and blissfully insane. She never wanted it to recur, but at the same time, she desperately wanted it to happen again, immediately. Then Nik thought about Rowan and her feelings for him. She decided she must be the biggest jerk in the world.

      Bas had recoiled from Nik at the same moment she had pushed back from him, like two magnets repelling each other. They no longer touched. Bas looked as horrified as Nik felt. They stared silently at one another. She couldn’t think of a single word to say, and apparently, neither could he.

      Then Nik heard strange, echoing cries. The sounds seemed to come from below them. She shook her head in confusion, trying to make her ears do a better job of locating the noises. She couldn’t figure out which direction the noises originated from, but her ears had not deceived her. Soon heads popped up all around them. The Nerei had arrived.

     Most of the Nerei were unfamiliar to her, but Nik recognized Deme and one other, the first to make eye contact with her.

     “Finally,” Nik said to her. “Now you can take care of him and I can go home.” The Nerei was a female Nik had seen before—she was the woman Nik had seen with Bas at the Epiphany celebration, the woman she had assumed was his mother.

      She looked at Nik, her expression neutral. Nik had the sense the Nerei thought Nik pathetically slow-witted. Nik guessed she was, compared to the Nerei.

      “How do you propose to transport yourself to land?” The Nerei asked Nik.

     The Nerei was right. Nik was out in the middle of the ocean, exhausted, dehydrated, and lost. Without help from the Nerei, she would die within hours. While this sank into Nik’s muddled brain, the other Nerei took hold of Bas and began swimming away. Nik realized they intended to leave her there. 

      “Wait,” Nik called. “What about me?”

Buy Links:

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About Katherine:

Katherine Eddinger Smits grew up in Tarpon Springs, Florida. Although not from a Greek background, she fell in love with the Greek culture of the town and its close-knit families. Although she moved away years ago, she still visits Tarpon Springs frequently to visit old friends and classmates, walk the beaches or shop and eat at the Sponge Docks.

Katherine started writing stories in grade school and always intended to write novels someday. However, she put off writing fiction while she raised her family and worked as a clinical social worker at four different Veterans Affairs Medical Centers around the country. Although she was devastated to learn that her first career choice—mermaid, was not realistic, Katherine found helping veterans and their families fulfilling, and managed to squeeze writing into her life. Whether it was writing clinical assessments, creating brochures for social programs, or putting together newsletters for clubs and organizations, she always had some kind of writing project in the works. 

Katherine lives with her husband in Homosassa, Florida and Falling Waters, West Virginia. They have a son and daughter-in-law who reside in Chesapeake, Virginia and a daughter in Alexandria, Virginia.

You can catch up with Katherine by clicking any of the following links:

http://www.katherineeddingersmits.weebly.com 
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30252213-water-dreams?from_search=true&search_version=service

https://www.facebook.com/Katherine-Eddinger-Smits-1570871886468704/  
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G0LUYXA 
http://foundationsbooks.com/library 
https://twitter.com/katherinesmits