Losing Words

 

         Hello, gentle readers! Hope you are well and staying safe!

So, I had a little hiccup with my writing. I’m currently working on a Mail Order Bride story with a big twist and I was going along pretty smoothly BUT the other day, I opened my file—like I do every weekday morning―and got hit with an error. I don’t know how it happened or why. I didn’t do anything differently than what I normally do.

Okay, fine. I can handle this. I can figure it out….except, I couldn’t because once the file was opened, it could not be saved or closed (I couldn’t even change the name to try to save it….just wouldn’t do it…kept popping up with errors, telling me I couldn’t do what I needed to do).

I’m panicking now. Wouldn’t you? And the worst thoughts were going through my head…like my computer, which is on the older side and a bit cantankerous, was crashing and dying. This is doubly bad as I’m using my computer for work, too. If I crash and burn, I wouldn’t be able to sign in for work, forcing me to take a PTO day, which isn’t bad in itself—I have plenty of time—but PTO on a Monday is never a good idea.

Anyway, after walking away from the computer (because I had to…otherwise, it might have found itself thrown out the window), I came back with an idea on how to save my manuscript. Needless to say, it didn’t work. I was able to shut down my computer, but by doing so, I lost the file completely.

Not to worry. I frequently email myself my manuscript so I went looking for it. *Sigh* I hadn’t emailed myself in over two weeks. Still, I had something, which is better than nothing so I saved the manuscript back onto my computer. Wonderful…except, that version was over five thousand less words than the current one that I lost.

I must confess, after realizing I’d lost over five thousand words, I wanted to give up. I wanted to cry (but didn’t….I don’t cry very easily). Why didn’t I back up more often? Or emailed myself more often? And the biggest question of all: why do I continue to write?

The answer was startlingly simple. Because I love it. Writing feeds a need in me, a passion (plus it helps to get all those voices out of my head). I am not the same person when I don’t write. I’m not as happy. I’m not as grounded. That does not mean that I don’t struggle with the writing, because I do. All. The. Time. And those five thousand words? For some authors, that’s just a days’ work. For me, those words were dragged kicking and screaming from my brain and took a few weeks to write (I have limited time, like so many of you).

The next morning, I noticed something very weird when I turned on my computer
again. It put itself through a SCAN and REPAIR of the C drive. I had never seen that message before, but at that moment, hope flared in my heart. Was it possible I didn’t lose the manuscript? Was it possible I could retrieve that file once the C drive was repaired? Well, no. Didn’t quite work that way. The file was well and truly gone, but I still had the version of the manuscript I had emailed myself (which were missing those five thousand words) so that’s what I’m working with, trying to recreate what I lost. Maybe I’ll be lucky and those scenes that I lost will come out better than before. In the meantime, I’m emailing myself the manuscript every day. We’re not going to let this happen again! It’s just too heartbreaking!

Stay well! Stay safe! And remember to spread kindness wherever you go!

Marie