I GOT NUTHIN!

Well, here we are...it's blog day again and, as the title says...I got nuthin! I have had a fairly calm and pleasant week, so no rampant stupidity to rage against. I don't have a new release looming, so no frantic last minute scurrying or shameless promotion, and I'm not slaying any dragons, so no whining or freaking out. So I guess I'll just do a simple year-end summary to tie a bow around 2022.

I had two new releases this year, which are humming along, selling a few copies here and there. So if you or anyone you know needs a good (funny) fiction read, share Murder by Dummies with them. If a heart-tugging nonfiction read is what they need, be sure to tell them about Life with a Demented Drama Queen.

(Okay, maybe just a little shameless promotion.)

~ ~ ~

 

Remember the coffee creamer post where I was begging for ideas on how to survive the onslaught of holiday creamer flavors that bumped my preferred flavors off the shelves of the grocery store for months at a time?

Well, I'm pleased to report that I am surviving the holidays nicely thanks to tips from our readers. I have taken to mixing my own creamer using half and half, artificial sweetener, baking flavor emulsions, and a little heavy whipping cream. I tried some of the flavored sugar free coffee sweeteners, but the flavors were all "off" as far as I was concerned. What I found was that the baking flavorings (emulsions) actually worked the best and gave me a flavor that I felt more closely aligned to what I felt it should be.

The difference between my solution and the off-the-shelf option is virtually undetectable and since it is mostly dairy products, it is most likely much healthier for me than whatever crack they are putting in the branded creamer products. 

(Which we all know are probably created in a chemistry lab.) 

Crisis averted, and I may never go back to the branded product since this feels healthier and costs me a whole bunch less! 

So take that, Mr. big coffee creamer manufacturer. Teach you to screw with my addiction...you have been replaced!

~ ~ ~

 And no year-end wrap-up would be complete without an update on 

Dammit, Oliver!

 

Our feline companion has survived the year in fine form. He made out like a freaking bandit on Christmas, with several new toys. While he loved the purring kitten and purring sloth (why a sloth purrs, I'm not entirely sure), but the toy that really caught his attention was the huge, fuzzy mouse that glows in the dark. Took us a while to realize that the reason he loved it so much is that the darn thing is filled with catnip.

Which just goes to show that we each have our own brand of crack.

So...that is the year-end update from the Kayce Lassiter household. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you stay safe and warm--and tremendously loved into 2023. Hugs and wishes for a fabulous NEW YEAR!

NOW, BRING THAT BAD BOY ON...LET'S ROCK IT!

I intend to ride this sucker like it was a rented mule.  How about you guys?  You in?

So…that’s my story, obsessive and optimistic, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

Happy New Year!

       

            Hello, gentle readers! Hope you are all well and staying safe!

        Happy New Year!

Granted, the new year doesn’t ring in for another couple days, but that’s okay. I’d rather be early than late!

Many of us reflect on the past year as the New Year rolls around, and I’m no different than anyone else. All in all, 2022 was a good year. There are so many things I’m thankful for—too many to count actually, but I’ll take a stab at it. I am thankful for my DH (who is healing, slowly but surely, from back surgery), my son and my soon to be daughter-in-law (who is one of the loveliest, sweetest women I know). I’m grateful for the friends in my life (and those who started as friends but are now sisters of my heart). I’m thankful for the unconditional love thrown my way (it is indeed reciprocated and my soul is full to bursting). I’m grateful for the roof over my head and the food on my table (I have been off my low-carb lifestyle for the month of December and have partaken in so many fabulous goodies I haven’t had in almost three years…I will pay for this indulgence but it was worth it).

I’m thankful that I can find the time to write (which makes me happy, even when my characters disagree with me or I write myself into a corner). I was able to finish one story (no publisher yet, but that’s okay) and I’m almost finished with another in my series of four. And I have a job I love so yeah, 2022 was a good year.

Now, on to the important stuff--my wishes for you, gentle readers. First and foremost, I wish you JOY, plain and simple. Joy in the simple things. In the mundane, ordinary every day experiences that make your life what it is. I wish you moments that take your breath away and moments that show you how loved and appreciated and extraordinary you are. I wish you good health. Lastly, I wish you the realization of your dreams, whatever they may be.  

I hope 2023 is a great year for you! Stay well! Stay safe! And remember to spread kindness wherever you go!

Marie

When a Helpdesk is No Help At All.

Hey ya'all...how the hell are ya? Good, I hope...kicking arse and taking names if there is any justice in the world.

Well, it's almost Christmas and I'm almost ready.  Everything is ordered and supposedly "on its way"...which sometimes is a lot like "the check's in the mail." My big tree is up (still...from last year), and the small tree is up (new...from this year), but my outside lights still need work.  Baby steps.  :)

So, today's blog is about one of those situations that comes with Christmas. If you order lots of stuff online, you may encounter the dreaded HELP DESK...sometimes referred to as the helpless desk around our house.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are lots of wonderful people who work at help desks, but since everyone has gone to outsourcing them, they just aren't what they used to be...and here is one example.

I purchased a gift for a family member and was so excited to have found what I think is an excellent gift. But then it started. It began with 3 emails the night I purchased the product, to be followed by no less than 3 emails a day every day since. Some emails are saying congratulations on a great buy, some are offering me more of the same at a lower price. 

What the hell makes them think I'm going to be excited about knowing they will sell me more...cheaper? That just makes me feel like I've seriously overpaid for the original purchase! Anyway, I digress.

They finally wore me out with the incessant emails, so I went online to see if I could request a frequency for emails. Nope, no options...it's all or nothing. Well, I didn't really want to completely opt out, just in case they offer some additional content that I would like to know about...I just wanted it to come at a reasonable rate.

So I emailed the helpless desk explaining I did not want to unsubscribe, but to simply reduce the frequency of the emails. Someone named "Money" replied to me.  I kid you not...that's the name he's going by. Anyway, Money replied telling me no problem, I could just hit the "unsubscribe" button at the bottom of the email and the emails would stop.

Uh...NOT WHAT I SAID! It was like talking to a three year old and having to make them stand still as you pointedly say, "Listen to my words." I honestly don't understand why they can't train help desk personnel to actually listen and address the problem as you have actually stated it, or maybe they would be a better fit in...well, I don't honestly know. Anyway, I politely wrote another email stating that I did not wish to unsubscribe, but simply reduce the frequency...but thank you anyway.

At this point I thought I was done with the helpless desk.

Nope.

Next day I get an email from another person whose name I couldn't begin to pronounce who indicates he/she hopes they resolved my problem and to have a good day.

Oh-kay...maybe that was the end of it.

Nope.

Next day I get another email from an even different person with an equally difficult name. (By now, I'm almost missing Money.) Anyway, this person asks that I email them to indicate if they should close my ticket or not because they hope they have resolved my issue.

Seriously?

In an effort to head them off at the pass and avoid any more emails on this subject, I replied that they did not resolve my issue because I was looking for the option to request fewer emails, not to unsubscribe, and perhaps they should provide that option in the future...but go ahead and close the ticket because it appears they don't have that ability.

Too much information...BIG MISTAKE.

Another email from yet another helpless person whose name I can't pronounce  indicating he was sorry they were unable to help me, but he would gladly unsubscribe me and close the ticket.

NOT WHAT I FREAKING SAID...LISTEN TO MY WORDS!!!

WTF is wrong with these people?! It's not like this is some fly-by-night company. These people cater to people who are motivated and don't mind paying a decent price for classes on various topics. They attempt to present an upscale image, and then back it up with a help desk that apparently cannot read. I responded with, "STOP. Do not unsubscribe me. Leave it alone and just close the ticket." God only knows what creative response they will have to that!

Okay, now that's off my chest and I can move on (for now).  Just think of me as your friendly neighborhood vigilante, fighting stupidity wherever it rears its ugly head.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

My next blog isn't scheduled to be posted until after Christmas, so I want you all to know that I wish you a safe, happy, and love-filled holiday.

Huge hugs to you all!

Well, that's my story, rueful and ridiculous, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast! 

Love ya,

Kayce

 

Be sure to check out Kayce's Christmas titles. They make great gifts.

GARLAND CREEK COWBOY

A CHRISTMAS BOWSER

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Sometimes the Character is Right

 

        Hello, gentle readers! Hope you are all well and staying safe!

So, here I am again, staring at a blinking cursor, wondering what I should talk about. Yup, you guessed it. I have no topic.

I could mention the fact that I’m having trouble with my current work in progress, but really, that’s old news! I’ve been having trouble with it since I started it. I get so far and then either write myself into a corner…or off the cliff. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my characters don’t want to do what I want them to do. They, apparently, have minds of their own (which I find so strange, because, well, I created them!). Hmmm, that could be a direct reflection of myself and isn’t that a sad thing to realize? Of course they don’t want to do what I’m asking them to do. Why would they? If they are truly a reflection of me, then they would be stubborn. That’s not to say being stubborn is a bad thing. Sometimes, stubbornness if all you have and if it’s all you have, then you work with it.

Take Gabe, my hero. He’s a really nice guy. Funny. Kind. Sweet. That being said, he’s got a stubborn streak a mile wide. Just the other day, I was writing along and I had him do something that was totally out of character for him. I swear, his voice popped (small disclaimer here…I frequently hear my characters voices in my head and for most the most, I listen ‘cause they say some really good stuff) in my head and said “Are you nuts? I’d never do that!”

My response at that point was “I’m the writer. You have to do it.”

And don’t you know that man, that character I created just crossed his arms over his chest, stiffened his back, and said, “No, ma’am. With all due respect, you are out of your cotton-pickin’ mind! I’m not doin’ it!”

He was right, of course, and the scene went much better after I listened to him. I think I should listen to him a bit more and stop being so stubborn myself then maybe, just maybe, I can finish this story and move on to the next (because there’s quite a few I need/want to write)!

Stay well! Stay safe! And remember to spread kindness wherever you go!

Marie

Books and the Holidays

 This is all about a happy holiday season and the things you give (up) and what gets done (or not)!

I'll start with what I've given and hope it makes a difference.  I've given a donation to my favorite charity, which helps domestic animals that are found to not have a happy life.  My hope is their lives are made better.  All animals should be spoiled.  

I also planted eight trees, maple, redwood, birch, and others, to help clarify the air.  Not to mention more shade and beauty all around.  

I compliment people for no reason at all.  Everyone should feel good about themselves, which can spread like a smile.

Moving on, I've given up trying to get a whole novel read this month.  Too many things keeping me busy.  By the time I want to sit down and soak in a great story, my heavy eyelids win out.

I always have a list of "Things to Do".  Now, this list can get out of hand.  I love to cross off what gets done, hoping to leave time to read or write.  Unfortunately, there's a pen laying around ready to keep adding necessary ideas.  The list never ends, and my lonely book or e-reader sits on the table glaring at me.  I think I made that up!

Overall, I've gotten a lot done and given my time resourcefully.  Yet, I won't give up on reading and writing or eventually getting another story read or written!

Keep your holiday season happy and peaceful!

Dawn 

AN UNDONE DAY IS DANGEROUS!

 Hey, ya'all, how the heck are ya? Did you survive your tryptophan-induced coma? LOL Well, I avoided it this year by doing burnt ends instead and it was freaking yummy!!! But I gotta be honest...I sort of missed all that went with the "bird thing". And I thought I could go without a pumpkin pie. Well...that will never happen again. Apparently, I cannot because I have been craving one for a week now. Sigh. Guess I'm gonna have to make a trip to the store soon 'cuz it ain't goin' away.

So...that said, let's talk about one of the days I had last week. I've decided to call it an "undone day"...one of those days where nothing gets done, seems like everything you try to do either won't get done or unravels later to leave you feeling...well....undone. An undone day is something you really do need to take seriously, as it can easily lead to a series of explosions. Let me 'splain what I mean.

First you make the coffee. But when you go to do that, you find that the coffee pot has been closed up in the dishwasher overnight and you forgot to run it the night before...undone step #1. So you decide to rescue the pot, start the dishwasher, and wash out the pot by hand...but the dish soap dispenser is empty...undone step #2. You go in search of more dish soap and find there is none because you forgot to order it the last time you got groceries (#3), so you settle for washing the pot out with hand soap.  Don't judge...we all know I'm dysfunctional.

The next thing is to put coffee in the little basket, but the coffee canister is empty as well (#4). This prompts a flurry of frantic activity as you search for a full container of coffee in the bottom of your chest freezer, only to find the coffee covered over with frozen gems you had no clue were in there. You finally tunnel down to the coffee, manage to get both the coffee and the water into the coffeemaker and you walk away, forgetting to hit the "on" button (#5). Ten minutes later when you return, still comatose, to pour a cup of coffee, there is nothing to pour.  Sigh. You hit the button and go to find something else to screw up.

Hungry, you decide that a bowl of hot cereal sounds good, and you have become very adept at making it in the microwave in less than 3 minutes. Perfect! But after the cereal has been made, butter and sweetener added, you find that you are out of milk (#6). Seriously? So you try adding a little water to thin it...because you like making it very thick...but it just dilutes the taste. Time to try coffee creamer. Other than adding the flavor of caramel, it actually works well enough to be edible.  (Finally, something goes right!)

However...............you decide it would be a good idea to carry breakfast to your bedroom where you are writing in your recliner this morning. All goes well and you get it there without mishap. But...while eating your cereal, you get distracted and set the bowl down on the table...well, sort of on the table. And because it's not fully seated, it tips off the edge and launches hot cereal across the carpet in a five-foot arch of gooey mess quickly soaking into your precious carpet. You run for the carpet cleaner, only to find that you only have half a squirt left (#7).

~ AND THIS IS WHERE THAT SERIES OF EXPLOSIONS BEGINS ~

(it is also where I quit counting undone events)

Well, that's the story about the morning I found myself kicking footwear across my bedroom...flipflops and cowgirl boots airborne in all directions.  It's my story, explosive and eruptive, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast! 

Love ya,

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